
Last week marked 1 year since I made the decision to get divorced and tell the world.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how much has happened and what all has changed in the last year. It’s honestly quite mind blowing and sometimes I still can’t believe it.
Everyone always tells me, “You’re so strong! You’re doing such a good job with handling everything.” Of course, I’m grateful people recognize my strength, but to be honest, I don’t feel that strong and most of the time I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job. A good job, yes, but not a great job.
As I have been reflecting on the last year, I was reading through my journal that I started during the beginning of quarantine last Spring. I found an entry from almost a year ago and thought I would share some of my feelings at one of the hardest times in my life:
June 26, 2020 ~
“I feel like my life is falling apart. Tomorrow is my Dad’s birthday and I miss him more than ever. This divorce is taking a toll on me. I’m sad, stressed, anxious and making bad decisions I’m not proud of. I’ve displayed low value behavior and that is not ok. I need to get my head on straight and make smart decisions that are in line with the goals I set for myself. I never knew this would be this hard.
To be brave is to forsake all others to be true to yourself. That is the definition of a brave girl.”
Life is full of twists and turns, and all I know is that I am doing the best I can. I try to take it one day at a time and think about making small changes every day that will help myself grow as a person and that will ultimately help my daughters.