It’s been one year since I moved out of my house and into my apartment. On one hand, a year seems like a long time. So much has transpired over the last year. On the other hand though, a year isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things. My emotions have been all over the place this week as I have reflected on this milestone and where I was a year ago.
A year ago, I was scared and uncertain of my future. I was embarking on a journey which I had never been on before. For the first time in my life, I was on my own and 100% independent. If I am being truthful with myself, then I am still scared and uncertain of my future. The only difference is that now, I am more confident and I am happier with myself. It doesn’t mean that it’s not difficult every single day. I’m constantly having to give myself pep talks and advice on how to do the single mom thing. I’m such a planner, and for once in my life, I don’t have a plan for the rest of my life. I have dreams and visions of what I want for myself and for my daughters, but I just don’t have all the answers. And, I’ve learned to accept that that’s okay.
At the end of the day, I know I’m a good Mom. I don’t have my long term living situation figured out, and I’m still doing everything I can to make money from home so I can be with my daughters as much as possible. It’s all still a struggle, but I’m living my life with an open heart and mind and a focused effort on being positive and putting out the energy into the universe that I want to receive.
I want my daughters to be happy. I want my daughters to be proud of me and learn from me and the example that I’m setting. I want my daughters to know that being happy and loving your life matters. And that it IS possible.