I came home to my empty apartment on the evening of August 17th. I was hit hard with a heartbreaking realization. In the 10 years of being a Mom, this was the first time ever that I wasn’t with one of my babies to put them to bed the night before their birthday. And this was also the first time ever that I wouldn’t be there in the morning to wake up one of my babies on their birthday. I wouldn’t be there to sneak in her bedroom to fill her room with balloons and set her birthday card out on the counter and give her all of her presents after a special breakfast in the morning. I cried. And then I cried some more. This is the first of many firsts and the first of many hard truths. I talked to a couple of friends who listened, provided words of wisdom and one who even cried with me. This was definitely one of those moments I was not prepared for. I’m trying to stay positive about my new custody arrangement, which is 2-2-5. It’s less time with my kids ( by 50% ), but I keep telling myself, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY. Meaning, that when I AM with my kiddos, I will make that time count. I will put down my phone, I will pour into them, I will have more meaningful conversations and make the most of our time. I’m really hoping that the distance will make the heart grow fonder, not sadder.
